Speak Life

What do you do when everyone around speaks from fear and doubt, but you want to embrace hope?

How do you respond when death is the answer from so many people’s lips, but you want to embrace life?

How do you shake off those around you who don’t believe?

I have a hard time with despair.  I struggle mightily with depression.  Sometimes I need people to help lift me up. Sometimes I have to figure it out on my own.

As the years have passed, I have learned who I can trust and reach out to in times of trouble and who I need to avoid.  Sometimes even the most well meaning people make your situation worse by their thoughts and energy.  In times of crisis, I don’t need that extra voice in my head weighing me down.

Then other times you get a boost from arandom  stranger that reminds you that hope can always be found- if you only open yourself to it

Yesterday, I was weighted down by some life changing news and I went into the local Dollar General deep in thought.  I was buying my children some cereal with the last five dollars to my name, but that wasn’t what was troubling me.  It was being plagued by doubt and fear and thoughts that death (not mine, don’t panic!) would be the better answer.

But another message was waiting for me behind that door.

I picked out the cereal and started to the front to pay for it.

As I walked up to the counter, another woman came to the counter from a different direction and got to the front of the line ahead of me.

“I’m so sorry!” She exclaimed “you go ahead!” Indicating that she had somehow taken my spot in line.

“Oh no!” I replied smiling, “you were first.”

“I really wasn’t.” She said to me “you are very kind.”

“Thank you” I said back “I was really just loafing my way up there, it’s really no big deal.”

As we stood there and the cashier rang up get items, she suddenly took the box of cereal out of my hand and handed it to the cashier “please add this to mine.”

I was shocked “oh my gosh, thank you so much!!!”

“You are so kind.” She said to me again

At this same time, another woman came up to the line and said “isn’t that nice?”

I said to her, “you have no idea.  I was buying that cereal with my last five dollars”

The lady who paid for the cereal looked shocked and happy that she could help.

The lady behind me said “see how God is?  He’ll always be there if you just listen for Him.”

As I was walking out the door, I could barely hold my tears back (tears of joy and thankfulness, not sadness). You know, those tears that come when your faith in people is boosted and you remember that the root of all things in this world is love. 

I turned around and smiled and told everyone “Thank you again! I literally have goosebumps right now”

They all nodded and smiled and said that they had them too.

The littlest most random acts of kindness can be the impetus for some major life decisions.

It was just what I needed to hear and see right at that time.

That the Universe has my back and that life is always the answer.

And no matter what, always embrace hope.

About sjwoods318

Mother of six children - five girls and one boy; wife; community organizer, family chauffeur, philosopher, trans-racial adoptee, Deadhead, person of mixed racial heritage, artist, poet, writer who loves to swim, read, and run around with my family.
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