The name of my blog is “Stuck in the Middle” in reference to the Stealer’s Wheels song “Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with you.”
When I first named my blog, I was referring to what it felt like being a bi-racial adoptee. First of all, being an adoptee, stuck in the world in the middle of our adoptive families and our birth families but never belonging to either. It also was a reference to what it feels like to be bi-racial in America- again – stuck in the middle of two groups that really don’t like each other that much. And again, never really belonging in either.
It was my life in a song. “Trying to make some sense of it. But I can see that it makes no sense at all,” so while I tried to make some sense of it all, I write.
I have been writing all my life, blogging for almost two years and while I haven’t found a way to make sense of any of it, I have found that I am stuck in the middle of much more than adoptee issues or racial issues.
As a middle aged woman, I am stuck in the middle of life – between youth and old age; between the cradle and the grave. I am no longer the foolish little girl but I am not yet the wise old woman.
Last night, when I was watching ChiRaq with my family, I realized that as a Black person, I am stuck in the middle of a system that unfairly targets my people and commits cultural genocide on one side and on the other side are knuckleheads who act a fool and terrorize their own people and commit cultural genocide.
As a well educated person, I am stuck in the middle of idiots who have no critical analysis skills who believe and follow anything and highly educated intellectual snobs who think they are better than everyone else.
As a working poor family in America, I am stuck between the truly economically impoverished who struggle to live day to day and the middle to upper class who seem to think that the poor are lazy and trying to take from them. And then I am stuck with everyone else under the weight of the truly super rich, the 1% – which be definition, 99% of us aren’t.
As an Independent voter, I am stuck in the middle of Conservatives and Liberals. And after watching what’s going on this country right now, I am not even gonna touch that one. I can say ’nuff said on that one and e’eryone’ll understand.
“And I don’t think I can take anymore”
But then I realized that the middle is also the peak. The middle of a mountain is its highest point. The middle of the earth is hottest. The middle is the target – the bullseye. The middle of seed is where all life begins.
We transition into a new life and new world begins at the middle of our family through pregnancy and birth.
So beautiful things are in the middle. And I am stuck here with these crazy kids of mine. Ain’t no place, I’d rather be.