Gaslighting or gas-lighting is a form of mental abuse in which information is twisted or spun, selectively omitted to favor the abuser, or false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity

It’s probably one of the most insidious things that a person can do to another person, make them feel or appear crazy or unreasonable.

I have always been outspoken when it comes to things that irritate me.  I don’t really know why anyone would show surprise that I am writing about how I feel about Transracial Adoption, Transracial Adoptive Parents (not ALL, but a bunch of ya) and even some Transracial Adoptees.  (Yes, wolves can be in sheeps’ clothing)

You know why the APs are mad at me?  Because I took away their free advice.  I took away their constant supply of adoptee pain and adoptee wisdom.  And they hate being deprived. Their entitlement demands our presence for their consumption on command.

But they mad at the wrong person.  Because I ain’t take nothing away from them.  I simply spoke my truth.  I spoke up against a pattern of negative and hostile behavior toward adoptees and people of color.  I was never the one who closed down the group because someone dare disagree with him ot challenge his authority.

Someone’s ego was bent out of shape and all y’all had to “suffer” because of it.  Because I would not bend to the will of two men (one white) and a couple white women.  I wouldn’t allow them to silence anymore voices.

And I have be open and honest about everything that has gone down since day one.  I am not the one asking for blind obedience.  I was talked down to, belittled, berated like a child and threatened with emotional rejection trauma.  I have told you all of this already. I am not the one hiding behind the curtain and telling you that I am Oz.

I have admitted, I am petty.  I am angry.  I am infuriated.  I am frustrated.  I will not sit quietly and let people label my actions as drama.

I clearly said “Stop talking about me” and I will stop talking about you.  All that you do in private because your secret rooms and chats, I am doing in public

Because I have nothing to hide.

I have no problem telling anyone who will listen that there’s some crazy cultish stuff going on there.  There is a demand for blind obedience and absolute trust without question.  And it’s kinda scary that these people are raising kids of color or teaching people how to do it.

And I don’t say that lightly.  I say that because I am one of those children.  And these parents running the show – they are faking it.  The ones who call themselves “leaders,” the ones who only speak and never listen, they are giving bad advice.  And the adoptee leader is letting them do it.  Encouraging them to do it in some instances.

It’s a sad day when adoptees cannot trust the people who claim to be the most “woke” – who claim to really want to learn. The ones who are all talk and no action.

For those of you who know that I know you “down” – we cool.  I ain’t got no beef with you.  Do not feel that you need to validate me – I already know who you are.  I am talking to the ones that still ain’t learned.

Everything done in dark will eventually be brought to light.

And if things can happen like Adam Crasper getting detained and about to be deported, then these parents ain’t learned enough and they need to get off their selfish asses and do something.

So Imma keep speaking out and keep shining a light.  Because apparently we cannot afford to rest in this fight.  Y’all get mad at me about a FB group closing, but you ain’t mad that three little girls are without their daddy today because he had not one, but two crappy sets of APs who were too lazy to do the right thing by a child they brought half way across the world and abused..

If 8,000+ plus members couldn’t have made a difference in Adam’s situation- then enough of you didn’t speak up.  And you just taking our pain and using for your own selfish needs.

You ain’t learned nothing.

So you can gaslight all you want and make it seem like your precious resource is gone because of me.  You can cry your tears and say how mean I am or how damaged I must be.  It still doesn’t change the fact that you ain’t learned jack.

I am challenging you – what were you doing with the wisdom you were graced with anyway if someone like Adam can be locked up on your watch?

I thought adoption was about the child.




About sjwoods318

Mother of six children - five girls and one boy; wife; community organizer, family chauffeur, philosopher, trans-racial adoptee, Deadhead, person of mixed racial heritage, artist, poet, writer who loves to swim, read, and run around with my family.
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2 Responses to Gaslighting

  1. Ann-Louise says:

    well said.

  2. Mae says:

    This is a very powerful post. Thank you!

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