Writing is such a tricky thing. I get derailed for a couple days. I procrastinate or have just been too busy to sit down and continue my story. But that’s an excuse. I was stuck. I didn’t know how to go on. And i kept examining myself as to why.
My last two years at the University at Buffalo were a lot of fun. I’m not even going to lie. I enjoyed being in college once I got into the ebb and flow of life there. I had pushed aside all my concerns about trying to figure out who I was and I just skated through time, observing my life. Which makes it hard to write about. I can read my journals with a sense of detachment, but can’t really feel what I felt when I was there.
So it makes it hard for me to dig in and write about this time. Not because it was a hard time for me. It was an exceptional easy and uneventful time. I had gotten into a rhythm of life and that was good enough for me.
I was in complete and total love with my best friend, Jon. And even though he would tell me that he “wasn’t in love with me,” he still loved me. And that was good enough for me.
We spent all our time together. I got to go to a lot of really fun places because he was always an adventurous person. And he liked the Grateful Dead and they were touring a lot when I was in college. So we could go to shows on any of our breaks.
Another thing that we did a lot back then was trip on acid. It was a carry over from the summer when there was a weed shortage, but an abundant supply of LSD. It was cheap and easy to come by. And you would be high for a really long time. Not something that you can do every day. But it was something that we’d spend the weekend doing.
This was a time when we had learned how to get around Buffalo and took advantage of all that it had to offer. Living in a city is a lot of fun when you are a young adult.
I can’t say that my mind was in a good place during this time, because I was consciously avoiding many issues. I drove Jon crazy a lot of the time with my neediness and obsessive behavior. I still drank heavily every week, usually a couple times a week and I was using heavier drugs than ever before.
If I was getting out of control, it was a slow spiral because I could always find a way to ground myself or to pull myself together enough to get what I needed to get done. I still worked at the bookstore and I also worked at food service in Talbert cafeteria. And oddly enough, Erv worked there too. And we hung out together sometimes, but as strictly friends. The last time I remember hanging with Erv involved a whole lotta drinking and tripping and hanging out at some bar on Bailey Avenue. Oh and Jagermeister. I think I threw up all over his hallway. A really memorable time.
At the end of my junior year, a group of girls and I from the Fresh Fourth had decided that we were going to live off campus next year and we found the perfect house on Minnesota Avenue. Literally right around the corner from my favorite bar, Broadway Joe’s. Two of the girls couldn’t stay for the summer, so a couple of my guy friends – Joe and Chuck were going to sublet their rooms for the summer.
So as junior year end, Joe, Chuck and I set out to take over University Heights. And man what a summer that was.
And did I mention that this was the year that Jon was graduating and moving to Tennessee with our friend Eric to go to college at the University of Tennessee.